#7) What to Call Myself/Us

I don’t like the label “spanko.” It sounds like Madison Avenue’s idea of a must-have new product. Spanko does share a similarity to the term “nympho,” and that I like. Both terms get to the compulsive, addictive nature of the respective acts (of needing a spanking as much as needing a good fuck). “Spankomaniac” is more precise, but it won’t catch-on. I don’t have a problem with it, but I don’t think most people would want to be referred to as a maniac…

Bullfighting has a term for its fanatical followers, an “aficionado.” It conveys a passion for the endeavor. I am a spanking aficionado! Both practices are ritualized, can be brutal. But bullfighting is cruel and deadly; spankos are misunderstood enough already…

How about “spankoholic”? Similar to the previous label, the connotation with alcoholic will doom this as unpopular…

I’m a book lover, a “bibliophile.” Many of us learned to read (and love it) about the same time they discovered their kink. Is “spankophile” any better than what we’ve already discussed? I don’t think so.

Upon reflection, I think I’m stuck with the label of spanko. But I cringe a little every time I write it. Do others feel this way?

8 responses to “#7) What to Call Myself/Us”

  1. I would say “a rose by any other name is still a rose’ ………. After being in this lifestyle for close to 30 years I have given up trying to label myself other than “I am a masochist” and I don’t spread that around too much people wouldn’t understand


  2. I find your “two cents worth” to be very valuable. We’re both saying “I don’t know how to define myself’ while saying “I can’t tell anybody about it anyway”…


  3. I don’t care for the term “spanko” either, but it seems to be in general use and the accepted term. I prefer spankophile, but don’t think it will catch on as it’s rather long. Like Morningstar, I’ve always called myself a masochist.



  4. I also detest the term “spanko”, but it has developed a very precise meaning that fits my husband and I perfectly, so I hold my nose and use it.

    Welcome to the blogosphere! Looking forward to reading more and linking you on my faves.


  5. I’ve received several emails, as well as these Replies. ALL of us agree that “spanko” doesn’t describe us well. Many are saying that “masochist” is their fall-back. Let me play devil’s advocate (a role I relish!); do we say, “Please strap the soles of my feet next time you get out the strap?” Do we go to the nail salon and during the manicure, ask for a bamboo sliver to be jabbed underneath a nail? NO! But let someone say, “I’m gonna spank your beautiful bottom until you can’t sit,” and I’m sitting in a puddle. It’s all about the butt! I love language, it ought to reflect precise thought. Now that I know the shared feelings against “spanko”, I’m gonna campaign against its use.


  6. Hi Naughty One (love your name!),
    There seem to be a lot of us. I’d agree to just about any other name at this point, but it seems it’ll be difficult to get off the ground. Regardless, thanks for writing to voice your opinion!
    Jean Marie


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