#10) And Now for Something Completely Different

Two writing pieces that I reworked/adapted:
Risk Aware Behaviors
We were getting to know one another over drinks at a bar. Obviously, the tequila was working on Raquel.
“I get turned on by women-lovers who take risks,” she whispered, her hot breath tickling my ear.
So I took her back to my apartment. While she watched, with heaving breasts betraying her belabored breathing, and a dreamy, far-away look in her eyes, I took out a pair of scissors and cut the Do Not Remove tag off one of the pillows on my couch.
“Ohh…!” she involuntarily sighed.
“And if you want, I’ll even run around with these,” I responded, brandishing the shears in front of her half-closed eyes, “later…”
Raquel swooned, her knees grew weak, I put my arm around her and walked her into my bedroom.
“So, this is where the magic happens,” Raquel uttered, clearly impressed by the Harry Potter motif of the decor.
I slipped on the pair of round glasses with tape repairing their bridge and my Hogwarts Hufflepuff robe, while she slipped out of her clothes. We got to know one another in the Biblical sense. Raquel responded to my many tricks and licks, and the spells I performed with my Hitachi wand better than I could’ve hoped. But we both hungered for something more.
We decided to take a little breather, so that our powers could return to full potency. We left the bed and began fooling around on my computer. I committed to doing something I’d been thinking about for a very long time.
When the moment seemed right, I looked directly into her baby blue irises and pronounced, “If I do this, you won’t be able to sit for days.”
“I understand,” she replied solemnly. She stopped brushing her auburn hair and handed me the implement with a slightly shaky hand.
I put the stupid hairbrush down and finished listing my couch for sale on Ebay.

I saw the writing-prompt-ideas of this piece posted years ago, and developed those kernels my way. After my break-up, I thought that this was the perfect time to finally act on my bi-curious tendencies. If you find yourself back in the dating pool, doesn’t it make sense to expand the size (and heat) of that pool to include the same sex as well as the opposite one? I’m just dipping my toes in for right now; someday I may jump back into the deep end.

Fifty Sheds of Grey
The title is not a misprint; this piece is subtitled “If Fifty Shades of Grey Was Written by a Man.” I saw it on Facebook years ago. I was inspired to play with the kernels of the ideas that the anonymous author presented. I’ll share only two here.

9 F/F) She leaned over the kitchen table, “Smack that bottom,” she squealed, “smack it hard!”

“I am,” I replied, “but the ketchup just won’t come out.”

16 F/M) “Stick it right up there,” I said, “I want to remember this!”

Sweating from the effort, he did, then patted it firmly. “You can’t be too careful with Post-it notes,” he mansplained.


My point is that a sense of humor is important in life, including our kink life. Some of my most memorable scenes were not only intense and erotic, they also contained a little levity (and I don’t mean suspension cuffs). I hope that both of these pieces have given you a giggle today!

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