Last evening I hand-washed all my delicate unmentionables and hung them on the clothesline to air dry. Today and tomorrow, because it’s the weekend, I get to dress as I prefer, totally nakey.

Ah, the weekend, where I get to sleep-in and only get out of bed when I want to, where I get to do what I want. Sometimes I’ll lay in bed on a Saturday morning and take a lot of time to masturbate as a form of self-care. But I didn’t do that this morning because I knew I’d be playing with myself all day long. On those “sometimes Saturdays” I’ll spank myself as I masturbate, to make the orgasms really intense. But not today, because I knew I’d be paddling my poor little tush all day long mercilessly. (And I’ve already gotten started!) Because today I want to write stories all day long and late into the night, and self-spanking and self-touching are my “limbering-up exercises” before I write (as well as during).

So, I assure you, like a well-trained athlete, I’m quite warmed-up and ready to give it my best, give it my all. My bare feet are in the starting blocks, the knuckles of one hand planted in the dirt track, I’m looking straight ahead as I elevate my bare butt into the air. On your mark, ready, set…