#394) From Being Made to Grovel to Being Put on a Pedestal

I want to build on a comparison I made in my last post, “This Penetrating Stare.” I just happened upon the comparison between the Doggy position and the Missionary position, and I want to develop that juxtaposition further.

I was in a serious relationship with a powerful, wealthy, older man. I thought we might end up married. But he traded me in for a newer, flashier, younger model just before Covid hit. Over the course of that long relationship, we (naturally) settled into a comfortable groove. We liked doing it in the doggy position for a multitude of reasons. The male’s thrust hits the female’s clitoris more directly, seems to penetrate deeper. It has the reputation for being dirtier, the male can (continue to) spank the female, play with her buttocks and anus. From our established D/s roles, we played around with the concept of slavery. (I’m too headstrong to really assume that position and defer to my man in everything 24/7.) My lover played at treating me rudely, beating me harder, making me grovel, wear his collar and leash, even put my plate on the floor to eat by the table, not at it. He once literally barked at me, “Heel, Bitch.”

Then I was alone, flying solo, for two long years, sequestered inside, only venturing out briefly when masked. Achingly lonely, sexually frustrated, craving punishment when I could only feebly try to meet my own needs.

And then I met a wonderful man and got up the nerve to venture into a new relationship. The first time we made love, many days after we first met, he wanted to do it in the missionary position. At first he wondered if we’d just be friends, now I wondered if he was too sexually conservative for me. But it was an epiphany! Of course it was going to be good doing it for the first time in a long time, but this far exceeded that. I spoke (enough and clearly) about the basics in my previous piece (#393), but elaboration is necessary. Having him spank me thoroughly, turn me on terribly, look me in the eye deeply, roughly kneed my fanny flesh as we made love tenderly, it was so mind-blowing, paradigm changing, ecstatic! I had to say more about it, HAD TO. The missionary position CAN be even better than the compellingly dirty doggy position because it can be even more intimate. It can feel transcendently pure while one is behaving tremendously prurient. It can be so soul-baring for me that I feel like I’m praying as I fuck, I feel like he’s worshiping me as we sin. It is as if he’s whispering to me, “Heal, Goddess.”

2 responses to “#394) From Being Made to Grovel to Being Put on a Pedestal”

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