It starts out so normal, just a routine Friday. I wake up, lean up on my elbows, and stare at Jacqueline for a full moment. She is so lovely at all times, so serene at this moment. I get up, perform my toilette quickly, brew Jackie a cup of coffee and toast her a bagel, bring both to her side of the bed, and serve it to her on my knees. The aroma makes her open one eye.
“Wha time iz i…?” she mumbles into the pillow.
“Six, mistress,” I reply while attaching my collar and leash, now that my hands are free.
“Goood,” she says groggily, flips the sheet off and rolls up on a hip. “Lick me awake…”
I part her legs, part her labia, dive in. I live to please Jackie, but remind myself to take it slow. She doesn’t like her clit touched right away, so I busy myself licking lengthwise along her wishbone-shaped inner lips. Every woman is different, it seems, at least in the limited cross-section I’ve tasted. I love her taste, her smell, her essence. I throw myself into my work, licking and tonguing and nibbling, and Jacqueline rewards my efforts by cumming in my mouth and crying out vulnerably. I can’t help but let a self-satisfied smile cross my face as I wipe that glazed mouth with the back of my hand. Jackie smiles back at me as I lean against the headboard next to her, share bites of her buttered bagel. I over-buttered the bread, like she likes it, and some of the warm greasiness drips down to my chin, so I wipe my face a second time in the same way. I’m not expecting what she says, her first distinguishable words of the day.
“I’m going to whip you tonight. Quite hard. Probably harder than you expect, or think justified. Just saying…”
I did not expect to be punished at all tonight. I’ve been a good girl. I just gave her the strongest orgasm in her recent memory. I assume it’s for “maintenance.” Maintenance spankings, by their very nature, piss me off. I care about justice. If a person does wrong, they deserve negative consequences, some form of punishment. Conversely, doing well or right should earn praise, some form of reward. The first time Jacqueline gave me a maintenance spanking, actually a hard hairbrush paddling, I cried profusely, like a little girl. It seemed to hurt much more because it was unjust, unjustifiable. It’s just like her to tell me this news twelve hours in advance, so that I can dwell and ruminate on it all day.
I manage to say through gritted teeth, “Yes, ma’am.”
“In the meantime,” she continues, “I’d like you to spend the day at my spa on my tab.”
“That would be nice, thank you,” I return. I decide to take advantage of her generosity for all it is worth, have my hair cut, a facial, a mud body wrap, a bikini wax and anal bleach, a massage, a mani and a pedi. I feel sublime when it was all through. Then I see J’s cruelty in her gift; it’ll be all the more precipitous a drop from this high to my sub space.
I return home, strip, put on my collar and leash, order a large pizza as her text instructs. The pizza delivery man thinks that he’s stepped into a live-action porno when I answer his knock naked save for my neckwear and pay him lavishly for the pie. I barely have time for a bite from a hot slice before Jackie pulls up in the driveway. I drop where I am to my knees and swallow my mouthful.
Jacqueline starts removing her tailored suit the moment she closes our front door. She picks up the pizza box and says, “Go to the bedroom. I’ll punish you there…”
It’s a lovely suit, but she looks even better out of it. She’s still wearing expensive, matching lingerie. I wish I were giving her a crotch licking instead of awaiting punishing licks from whatever J chooses to whip me with. I try to turn my head around with self-talk.
Jacqueline Rays is your mistress, she owns you. You gladly gave yourself to her. She can do with you whatever she wishes. A whipping will do you good. You’ve gotten away with many indiscretions that were unpunished; let this thrashing even that score. It will be glorious afterward. You are always so high in your sub space. J interrupts this pep talk with a command.
“Come here, get over my knee, slave.”
“Yes, ma’am,” and I scurry to obey.
J starts with spanking me. She embodies a delicious ambiguity; she is leisurely eating a slice of pizza with her left hand while she is slapping my bottom very hard with her right. Jackie seems to be enjoying the taste of both. This dual-foci reminds me of a former girlfriend, Geneviève. Gennie would spank me very hard while seemingly preoccupied with doing something else. Over the course of our year-long relationship, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and placed on Lithium. The drug took away all Gennie’s highs and lows. She existed in this middle world that was blasé, beige, bland. My relationship with her was a great lesson to me. I could not live in that middle world alone. The lows I experience when being beaten down into my sub space are dark and scary, but the highs I feel at many points in my life are so radiant and bright! I’m back over Jacqueline’s lap. She’s covered my round bottom with so many spanks that she’s now progressing down to slapping the backs of my thighs. Then she suddenly stops.
“You’re probably nearly numb. Time for a brief break. Go stand in the corner.” I make the grievous error of just slightly running one hand over the hot surface of my orb as I am getting up. “Did I say you could rub?” I’m pushed back down OTK and given a fast series of really hard spanks. I had been crying, now I’m wailing and begging, and feeling forlorn because I know it won’t do any good. My legs kick involuntarily, I try but I cannot control them. I know that I’m exposing myself to my lover, that she sees that her harsh treatment of me is doing what she intends. She intends to punish me so hard, I’ll never forget it. But she knows that it will inevitably arouse me simultaneously. I’m not given a reprieve of any cornertime, Jackie believes in “striking while the iron is hot.” “Get up, get over the table.”
I bend over my lover’s make-up table, ass out as far as I can stick it. Jackie takes the long leash and brandishes it in hand. It is thin leather. I barely hear it cutting through the air before it cuts into my tender flesh. She knows me, knows my limits. Jacqueline takes me to that boundary, then pushes me past them, into uncharted territory. Her lashing of my backside with the leather takes me outside myself. It takes me to the depths of my sub space. From that nadir, I feel myself start to float, rise, even soar. I’m high on endorphins, adrenaline, pain. Fuck the Lithium lifestyle, I choose to live at the extremes, both sky high and deep dungeon low!
I don’t know how far Jackie will keep pushing me, for how long. Do I need to let go and pee a puddle right here on the carpet to prove that she has completely dominated me? Worse, let go of all bodily functions? She just keeps whipping and I just keep trying to take it. Finally, the blessed words are said.
“Do you think you’ve learned your lesson?”
If I weren’t in my current state, I would have answered that it was supposed to be a maintenance spanking, that I’ve striven to be a good girl, to what fucking lesson was she referring? But she knows that I no longer have any vinegar left in me.
“Yes, mistress. Thank you, mistress!”
“Then you may go display your sorry ass for all to see and admire from the corner.”
“…Mistress, may I please rub? You punished me very hard…”
J reaches out. I think she’s going to ascertain how hot my fanny is by touching me there. I actually long to feel her caress there. J surprises me by cupping my English fanny, my pussy. She seems pleased to find how swollen and wet I am. She rubs some of my wetness across where I’m most swollen. She smirks at my distress.
“Yes, my good little girl, you may rub. You’ve earned it.” She removes her one digit, velvet touch on my clit as I rub my ass cheeks with both hands. It hurts so much the rub turns into that shame-filled dance in-place as I try to digest the pain she’s instilled in me. I cha-cha my way to the corner. I’m only able to stand still when I finally get there.
Jacqueline approaches me there. Her lips make a one-point landing on my mouth, that talented finger makes its own one-point landing back where it just was. With my spine-crumpling climax, it all comes out. It’s like my on-rushing jism is truth serum, as soon as my moaning stops, my protestations begin.
“I deserved everything you just gave me, mistress… I need your frequent attentions… Thank you for being hard on me… I am yours to use, yours to abuse…”
My mistress takes me at my word. “Get on your knees,” she commands and I gladly obey. She parts her sex with the fingers of both hands. I can see that our play has gotten her aroused, and I feel gratified. “Lick me!” I apply my tongue to her, just as I did at this day’s inception. J sighs, followed by a low, contented, “Mmmmmmm…” which feels like a gold star given to a first-grader on their homework. I have to cease my tonguing momentarily because I’m smiling so broadly. I love to pleasure her. I live to pleasure her. Like some general overseeing the battlefield, I then hear her bark, “I’m close to cumming! Keep that up! Just like that!” and I flick my tongue across her clit with all my might, like a feral cat would lick at a saucer of cream on a dairy farmer’s porch. Then she abruptly changes her mind. Jackie uses her hand in my hair to direct me. First she pulls my head away, then she turns around one hundred and eighty degrees, and presses my face into her butt crack by pushing on the back of my head. “Lick me there!” come my commander’s orders, and I do, feeling how frenetically she’s manipulating her sex with one hand, feeling how hard she’s pressing my face into her crevice, feeling her anus tighten around my tongue as her climax approaches. I feel all her muscles tighten, her whole body go rigid, her buttocks flexing, enveloping me, her hand slamming me into her, my tongue fucking her up the butt. “Oh, yes! That’s it! That’s my girl!”
Silence, then a shudder, then her musculature relaxes, and she pets my hair. She looks down at me, smiles.
“Thank you, slave.”
“Thank you, mistress, thank you!”
(I just wrote a comment about rubbing on Bonnie’s blog, “Bottom Smarts.” I secretly love being taken to a place where I have to rub post-punishment!)
(Now, being taken to the place where I have to dance is another matter. If I “do the dance” I’ve really been punished hard, probably harder than I anticipated…)