Robert found me outside with a book in my hands.
I was doing what I love best, reading, learning, discovering new stuff. (As much as I love sexy stuff, this is saying something!)
“I think I just discovered my true spirit animal!” I responded. “Remember when you read “Harry Potter” the first time, and had to imagine what your patronis would be?”
“I guess so,” he replied.
“I always thought mine would be the otter. They’re sleek, playful, curious. They have a muscular tail and love to get frisky with their mate…” I said, wiggling mine in the chair. “But I think I was wrong. I think it’s actually the platypus! Listen to this…” and I started reeling-off facts from the book I was reading. “They’re definitely odd, and I always felt like the odd one growing-up…”
“Listen to this! They don’t have nipples! They secrete milk through their skin for the young to lick off. For a girl with small tits, I can relate…”
“It gets better,” I continued. “The platypus stores its fat in its tail, like a camel does its hump! Sound familiar?”
Robert had been fooling around, licking my bare arm, then kissing and licking my decolletage, opening the top of my sundress to get at my tits, but this stopped him. Or it shifted his gears, as he tried to feel me up from underneath the hem of my skirt. I batted his hand away.
“Pay attention, Robert! What clinched the deal, convinced me that I’m a platypus was this… They’re classified as a monotreme. That’s a unique animal that has just one hole for both elimination and reproduction! Does that describe this anal-queen, or what?”
This news was too much for my lover. He took the book out of my hand and put it on the garden-side table, took me by that hand and led me inside to our bedroom. I wasn’t done reciting facts.
“The platypus closes its eyes and ears when swimming, what it does most of the time. So it’s swimming blind and deaf… I think we ought to wear blindfolds this time as we make love…”
Robert was a good sport, let me put a blindfold on him before I put one on, too. Then blindly but eagerly, we got busy, fumblingly taking each other’s clothes off, licking and kissing and nibbling and biting and sucking for foreplay before we fucked like wild animals.