#598) Just My Warped Sense of Humor #4

I have another confession to make. I am a farter. My farts are not noxious, but they make up in vociferousness what they lack in toxicity. My farts are the exact opposite of “silent but deadly,” mine are loud and long but not smelly. I’m blushing crimson as I write this, but I feel so much better having shared this onerous secret with you.

I cannot count the number of times I’ve been given extra sets of spanks for farting in my Top’s face. I’ve tried to explain that it puts a lot of pressure on my tummy to be turned over a knee, that the surprise and sting of the first swats just seem to release something inside me, the flutter of butterflies in my womb, the flow of sexual secretions in my pussy, the feelings of being cared for and contentment in my submissive soul, and the loud rip of air expelled from my butt hole…

So I was perusing a series of photos, some of sleek dolphins cavorting in the surf, surfacing with blow holes agape, and some of sleek damsels cavorting in the surf, surfacing… I happened to cut a fart at this instant. An idea was born in my warped mind. I wish I could create a montage of moving pictures, juxtaposing dolphins and derrieres, porpoises and posteriors…

A school of mammals crest the waves, smooth-skinned and sleek. Blow holes open. A distinctive “Pffft! is heard above the crashing tumult,

as a seductive maiden is seen breaching the surface, smooth-skinned and sleek. Her butt hole opens. A distinctive “Pffft!” rends the air.

Dolphin blow holes “Brrrrpppt!”

A delicate rosebud emerges from betwixt the smooth, fleshy orbs at the surface of the sea, an indelicate “Brrrrpppt!” spouts.

Still more dolphins,

and yet again, “Thar she blows!”

I wish that National Geographic magazine would devote a cover issue to this topic. If “The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau” had devoted an episode to it, it would surely still be on the air. I plan to publish a sequel to Rachel Carson’s “The Silent Spring” entitled “The Powerful Poot.” Expect a global impact study to be released soon, absolving cows for environmental methane gas increases and laying the blame squarely on my tight little tooter.

11 responses to “#598) Just My Warped Sense of Humor #4”

  1. I had a girlfriend come home from a trip to
    Hawaii and she was horny. She was sitting on my face and my nose was buried in her ass. I sucked on her clit and she farted! She wanted to move. I continued my task but informed her she would be blistered with a hairbrush on Friday. She had issues sitting for a few days and my cock was raging hard. Good times!

    Liked by 1 person

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