#783) Santa’s Helper

I’ve mentioned that I normally volunteer to help serve food to the homeless on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day at a local soup kitchen. It’s just a small way to give back.

But this year, I won’t be able to do this on Christmas; we’ll be traveling. I was feeling the loss of this feel-good-moment, until I got a bright idea. At my nearby shopping mall, in the center rotunda between all the stores, there is a Santa on-duty for children to see. He has a cute little house and a big chair to sit in, so kids can sit on his lap and talk to the man-of-the-hour. I noticed that what he doesn’t have is an elf, some kind of Santa’s helper. People don’t form a nice line, so arguments break-out. Some people (particularly older children) take a long time, so the line backs-up and gets un-manage-ably long. Santa needed my help! But people wouldn’t know that I was there to help without an elf’s costume of some sort.

Me being me, this is what I came up with, as pictured above and below. Everybody’s always saying I have a great ass, so my improvised costume showed this off. I thought it’d be fun for one boobie to become Rudolph. It made me smile, I thought it’d bring some holiday cheer to others. The kids in line didn’t really notice, but their parents sure did. Mothers didn’t seem to like my outfit or my presence there. On the other hand, MANY fathers expressed their appreciation for my help, for my outfit! One man asked if I could pay a visit to his next Elks Club meeting, but his wife argued that if I did, she’d be visiting a divorce attorney. She and other women caused such a ruckus, the mall manager rushed in. He had the nerve to say that I was the problem, even though I explained that I was there to relieve the problems.

It’s a sad indictment of our society today that a well-intentioned citizen can’t volunteer to help out by sharing her god-given talents!

3 responses to “#783) Santa’s Helper”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: