The actual 12 days of Christmas are during Advent, from Dec. 25 – Jan. 6, but I’ll be traveling during part of that time. So I thought I’d share my re-writing of this familiar carol now.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
the nickname of Spankee Jean
two hairbrushes
three sets o' stripes
four bare hand spanks
five Lexan swats
six canes a-caning
seven straps a-strapping
eight crops a-cutting
nine plimsole slippers
ten whips a-welting
eleven ping pong paddles
twelve tawses tanning

(This took longer than any poem I've ever written to hammer-out, to match syllables with the beat. Hope you enjoy! Sing along with me...!)