#845) Pricks of One Sort or Another

(I invested a lot of time and effort in the two stories I posted first today. This one is just a flight of fancy inspired by the above bizarre photo. I enjoy some of my “flights of fancy” stories as much, if not more, than some of my lengthy, detailed fictions. [I sincerely hope that you enjoy both types.] I say all of this by way of explaining that there may be more flights of fancy short stories in the immediate future. Just like this morning, when I didn’t post until late, I’m going to prioritize my own [sexual] needs over everything else.)

I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, little girl, but this probably won’t be the last time you are hassled by a big prick like this. If my personal experience is any indication, you’ll be hassled by a whole parade of big pricks throughout your life. More so when you’re young, less so as you get older, but in one way or another, your whole life long.
I do want to commend you; that big prick of a porcupine seemed pretty aggressive, but you kept smiling the entire time during his forward overtures. That, in my experience, is the best way to deal with big pricks; just keep smiling.
On the other hand, we can’t live without them. Big pricks, for all their persistent come-ons and flaccid tom-foolery, are wonderful in the right circumstances, at the right time. I just spent a marvelous half an hour riding one, taking it for a wild adventure until it spit-up all over me. But that’s a lesson for when you are older, my dear. For now, just be careful around all the big pricks you encounter, don’t pet them, don’t believe the lies they’ll tell. Then, one fine day, you’ll meet the big prick of your dreams, just the right prick for you. I know that it seems improbable, but fairy tales really do come true. And big pricks, as ugly and uncouth as they can be at times, at other times are the most magical of creatures.

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