One year ago today, this blog became live on-line. (It actually took me several days longer to get pages loaded.) This anniversary date causes me to reflect.
On the one hand, I’m so technologically inept, I really shouldn’t blog at all!
On the other hand, it has been mind-blowing for this stutterer to have such a vehicle to voice her perspectives.
I bridle under the restrictions that this platform imposes, the censorship that it places on my work, even as I rejoice at the feeling of liberation it has given me to express myself freely.
When I started writing here a year ago, I chaffed under the well-known dictates in our fetish to be “safe, sane, and consensual” in all dealings. Some of the acts I wanted to participate in could not be construed as sane. I question whether I am sane at all times. Over the course of this year, with the shared insights of people like Jillian Keenan and others, I’ve come to feel more aligned with the realization that, for me, this fetish is “innate, unchosen, and life-long.”
When I started this blog, most of my desires were unrequited. I spanked myself because I had just broken-up with a man, and there was no one to do the job. The same can be said about masturbation and my sex life. Over the course of this past year, I’ve come to know myself better, and with that knowledge, was in the right place to find someone who fulfills my wants and needs, someone who became the love of my life.
On the topic of self-discovery, I used to try to cater to a wide variety of tastes, so wrote and posted some stories that I was uncomfortable with, stories that were harsher and more punitive than I prefer. I’ve debated whether or not to go back and delete these written works. I’ve decided not to do that, but henceforth, I want to try to be true to my own self more.
It was been a year of growth and evolution, of risk and reward. I don’t know what the future holds. (I sometimes feel as though I know less and less every day.) But, I hope to continue blogging for a good deal longer into the future. I thank each of you who stop by and see something of interest; I sincerely thank those who have become faithful followers here, have become good friends on-line!